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Recently Added Blonde Jokes

Below you will find recently submitted jokes we've recived. Remember if you have any blonde jokes then get them sent in!

 


Two horses and a blonde. - Added Tuesday the 14th 2006f February 2006
One day a blonde buys two horses but she can't tell them apart so she calls up her friend and says," I got these two horses but I can't tell them apart. What should I do?" Her friend says try tying a ribbon in one of your horses tails." The next day the blonde calls back and says," It didn't work the ribbon came out. What now." So her friend says," Try spray painting one of your horses manes." The blonde calls back the next day and says,"The spray paint washed out." So her friend says,"I am all out of ideas." So the next day the blonde calls back and says,"I just figured out that the white horse is ten inches taller than the black horse!"


The Porch - Added Monday the 13th 2006f February 2006
So, there was this blonde who wanted to buy her husband this REALLY nice gift for Valentine's day. So she decided to go around the neighborhood, asking them if they had anything that they would want her to do, and she would do it. So the first house she went to was the Anderson's. She rang their doorbell and said, Hello Mr. Anderson! Sorry to bother you, but i was wondering if you needed any chores being done, and i would be more the happy to do them for you. You see, I am trying to raise money for-Enough said , said Mr Anderson. It would be great if you would paint my porch!! there is paint in the garadge! Mrs.Anderson then said to her husband, do you think she knows that the porch goes all around the house? i mean, that may be a lot of paint. "Well sure! She was standing on the porch anyway!" Said Mr.Anderson. "it might take a while, but I am sure we have enough paint!"

In only 20 minutes she came back and said " Im finished!! And there is paint left over."

Mr. Anderson said, " Did you paint the whole porch?"

Yah. And by the way, ....Thats a Porsche, not a porch.."


The Microwave - Added Friday the 10th 2006f February 2006
This blonde walks into a hardware store and asks the guy at the cashier,"Can I buy that microwave?" He replies,"No im sorry we don't sell to blondes." So she goes home and dies her hair green.She goes back and asks" Can I buy that microwave?" "No im sorry we don't sell to blondes" So goes home and does the same thing with burnette, red, and blue. The last time she goes in she says "How do you always know who I am?" He replies "Because thats a T.V."


Helicopter crash - Added Friday the 16th 2005f September 2005
Why did the blonde die in a helicopter crash?

Because she got cold and turned off the fan.


Football Makes Sense - Added Monday the 29th 2005f August 2005
Football FINALLY makes sense....... A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. they had great seats behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents."
Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?"
"Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like...Helloooooo? It's only 25 cents!!!!



Blonde Driving - Added Friday the 26th 2005f August 2005
There's a blonde driving and shes swirving all over the road and a officer pulls her over and says mamm why are you swerving and she says theres this tree following mo and the cop says mamm thats your air freshner.


Man on A bridge - Added Tuesday the 23rd 2005f August 2005
A blonde and a Brunette walked in to a bar, sat down and looked up at the T.V. The 6:00 news was on and there was a man about to jump of a bridge. The brunette looks at the blonde and says " I bet you $20 that he'll jump." The blonde says "okay." 10 min. later, the man jumped. The blonde turns to the brunette and says " I guess i owe you 20 dollers." The brunette says " Oh, I can't take your money, I watched the 5:00 news." The blonde says " Well so did I, But I didn't think that he'd jump again!"


10 Symptoms of blondness - Added Monday the 22nd 2005f August 2005
1) Spends 30 min. look @ an orange juice box because it says`concentrate`.
2) Gets stabbed in a shoot-out.
3) Trips over a cordless phone.
4) Studies for a blood test and fails.
5) Takes 2 hours watching 60 Minutes.
6) Invents a solar powered flashlight.
7) Sends a fax with a stamp.
8) Sells the car for gas money.
9) Tries to drown a fish.
10) Tries to put M&M`s in ABC order.


TGIF - Added Sunday the 21st 2005f August 2005
One day a blonde onto a elevator. She smiles at a man already on the elevator and says " T.G.I.F." The man smiles back and says "S.H.O.T." The women smiles back and says "T.G.I.F." The man smiles back and says "S.H.O.T" The woman smiles and says " Thank god, It's friday." The man smiles and says " Sorry hunny, only thursday."


Orange Juice Factory - Added Saturday the 20th 2005f August 2005
Why did the blonde quit her job at the orange juice factory

She couldnt concentrate



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